My moment

Ok, so I had my mad moment about not getting the girl I thought we were going to get. It's over, now I need to move on. A dear friend of mine came over the other day for lunch and we were talking, this friend is probably the only friend I can talk about my frustrations with. I felt myself getting really negative, not only about myself but about other people and experiences. It left me feeling really frustrated that I was so negative. My friend is one of the sweetest people I know, so she probably didn't think too much about it. I did, and I partly blame it on being pregnant. I get really negative when I am pregnant. The only thing that I can think about that will help me get through my negativity is to do what a sister spoke about the other night at a relief society activity. She said that if you put God first before everything, everything else will fall into place. I already knew this, but I think I easily forget things. I am going to try and set goals for myself this week, instead of nesting and getting frustrated I don't have enough time to accomplish things in a day, I am going to concentrate on Heavenly Father first.

As for the whole boy thing, I love him. I saw him again through an ultra sound on Friday at my doctors office. He was bouncing around looking as cute as ever. I am happy to not have to go through, periods, boobs, bras, makeup, clothes, etc. etc. with girls. I can have fun, wrestle and teach them to be the boyfriends, and gentlemen they need to be. I also feel it a huge privilege to raise my boys to be missionaries. I hope I can do whatever I can to get those boys to serve a mission and be proud of the accomplishment, like I am of my own mission. Yes my boys are wild, yes they can drive me crazy, but they make me melt, they love me, they tell me everything, and they make me a better mommy, and a better person, and that is what I need. Today Michael was home and took the boys to Karate, and left me to exercise and do some things in the house. It was a refreshing time, and I think I need that. Hopefully, I can get that when the baby is here so I wont get into my rut of neglecting the spiritual things in my life and feeling out of sink and lost with all of my duties as a mom. I love my boy family I wouldn't be the same without them.