Another Open Heart Surgery (part 1)

Well, I honestly didn't think this was going to happen so soon again after his first surgery, but it did. 2 years after Michaels 1st open heart surgery, he had another one. I've been feeling like I need to write down my thoughts about what happened just to keep it as a record. So here it goes. For about 2 months Michael had been persistently coughing, from about April-June. The first couple of weeks of June I was starting to get really concerned. He had already gone to the doctor and was on antibiotics, which helped suppress the cough for about a week and then started up again. I kept having the feeling that I was concerned about it but I felt like it wasn't the time to be completely concerned. The week of June 10th came around, my parents were coming to visit from their mission, my baby sister was taking her family to the temple and her oldest was getting baptized. We were planning for a busy week. I was frantically cleaning my parents house and trying to help Michael with the studio. My parents were planning to come on the 12th but then called us and said they felt like coming home early on the 11th. Not only had Michael had problems with coughing but he also had some wheezing. When he came home that night from work he sounded horrible. It sounded like he had asthma. We got the house ready and then went out to dinner with some friends before my parents arrived. When we were at dinner he had a couple coughing attacks. We went home and he just kept sounding worse. My parents arrived around 9:30/10:00. We helped them with their stuff, and all my parents could say was, Michael sounds awful. They were just reaffirming the feelings I had been having for months. We went to bed and as Michael was getting ready for bed he came over to me and showed me is abdomen. It was swollen. I told him to go and weigh himself. He came downstairs and said, I've gained 7 pounds in 24 hours. and 4 other pounds since Friday, So 11 pounds in three and a half days. I was sick. I tried to stay calm, cause Michael was worried. My first thought was I needed to call one of his doctors to talk through what I needed to do. I spoke with his kidney doctor because I had his cell phone number. He made time for him the next morning, and so we then went to bed. Michael woke me up around 4:00 in the morning and said that he hadn't gone to sleep yet. He said he had been trying to get comfortable but he just kept getting winded when he would sit up and lay down. He said, I can't breathe. So I asked him, tell me what you need me to do, He said, we need to go to the hospital. So we went. The whole time he was walking up the stairs to the car I could hear him struggling, it was freaking me out. My hands started to shake. I woke my parents up and told them we were going. We got in the car and I called the ER at Bethesda. I explained of his history and told them something was seriously wrong and we were coming. The lady asked me why I hadn't called the ambulance. Heck no, I could get him there faster. When we got there I grabbed one of the wheelchairs and brought him in. The front desk lady sent me right back to triage. There we waited for a few minutes and then the nurse came back. The nurse took his pulse ox first thing and it was normal. They still put oxygen on him and did some more tests, all normal. Then we did a a chest x-ray. It took them an hour to come back to give us the results. An annoying doctor who had no feelings whatsoever about what was going on with Michael came back to tell us like it was no big deal, "It looks like you have congestive heart failure, we are going to admit you." My heart sunk as the doctor explained that he was going to get us a cardiologist, and that we would do more tests. I just looked at him and said, "You can't just give us any cardiologist, I need a good one." He looked at me and said, "They're all good." I then put my head in my hands, and he walked away from me. (Punk)We sat there, no doctor, no nurse in the room, freaking out. After all that we had been through congestive heart failure? For some reason something inside of me told me that was wrong. Maybe a half hour, 45 minutes passed and no one came in the room. This nice doctor comes in, warm and friendly, explaining to us what the next steps would be. He gave us comfort and we felt better about what was going to happen. We were sent to a new floor and one of our friends came and waited with us. The longer we waited the worse Michael got. At that point he had started to have coughing spells so bad that he would turn blue and purple. He had also started to cough up blood. I don't remember how long we were in the room but I remember it feeling like forever before anyone came. I even went to find the nurse to tell her that I was watching my husband get sicker by the minute and we needed to move this along faster or something even more serious would happen. They moved his CT scan to the top of the list, and finally after me throwing a mini tantrum we got people moving. We finally had a cardiologist, a nephrologist, a pulmonologist, and a CT surgeon. Each one came in to let us know their findings from all the tests they had done in the ER and with the CT scan. The cardiologist came in and told us it wasn't congestive heart failure, (relief), the pulmonologist came in and said a few things I don't remember, and then never came back. The nephrologist came in and also agreed it wasn't congestive heart failure, (so what the heck was it!!) I was starting to get really frustrated at this point until the CT surgeon came in. He was kind of snotty when he came in, walking in with a chip on his shoulder, then proceeded to tell us that Michael had a mass in his chest and they weren't sure where or what it was. They didn't want to do a CT scan with contrast because they didn't want to hurt his kidneys, so they needed to do a few more tests to rule out anything else. Our friend left at that point and we did a few more tests. The tantrum I threw earlier was big enough that they decided to move Michael to a floor in between a regular floor and ICU where he would get more attention. We finished the last tests and went to the new floor where we waited. I felt so anxious and so nervous. I went to find the nurse after 30 minutes of us being there by ourselves watching my hubby get sicker. Michael was coughing consistently and spitting up blood every time. They kept him on oxygen but I could tell he was still struggling to get a deep breath. I knew we had to do something. I was there with him for a little while cause I felt like I couldn't leave, the nurse came in one other time before I felt like I could leave, so I reluctantly left. I was driving to my moms and I got a call from Michael. He could barely talk, he was freaking out. The only thing I could make out was that the surgeon had come in to tell him that the mass was on his heart. He needed surgery. On a scale from 1-10 the surgery was an 11. The surgeon didn't feel like he could do the surgery with the means he had at the hospital. The last thing that Michael said to me was, I don't want to die. So I went home, got my dad and went back. When I got there, not only had he been having coughing attacks but he had been hyperventilating also. He looked at me and my dad and cried. He said I'm not ready to die, I still have more to do. My dad talked to him while I silently freaked out. I don't remember what I said to Michael but I remember that while my dad and I were there the nurse didn't come in. I went out to find her and they were doing shift change. The new nurse finally came in and I let her know that Michael needed to be in ICU, there was no way I was leaving him there over night. I explained to her that the other nurse hardly came in, and that wasn't acceptable. She was really nice and reassured me that she would do what she could to help Michael, she even called the ICU doctor on call that night to come in and speak to me and assess Michael. My dad and I did our best to get Michael to ICU. While we were speaking to the doctor, he suggested that we put Michael on the Bi Pap machine. It's a machine that helps you get a deep breath in and out. Once we got Michael calmed down enough and on the machine I felt it was OK to go. I went home with my dad, we hardly spoke in the car, we both knew that whatever was going on was really bad. I drugged myself up with some sleep meds to get a little bit of sleep. I hardly slept at all. I got up early and got ready for the day. Michael called me to inform me that the CT surgeon had come in to inform Michael that he was going to the Cleveland Clinic where the surgeon knew we would be in better hands. I raced over to the hospital, I think my dad was there, and my two sisters were there, and then my brother in law came. My other sister tried to make it in time to say goodbye to us but didn't. Bethesda finally moved fast, they got us an ambulance and were there by noon. The ambulance ride was awful. I sat upright for 3 1/2 hours watching Michael drift in and out of sleep, completely exhausted. When we got there I had no clue how massive the Cleveland Clinic would be. When I walked in with the ENTS and Michael on a stretcher, I felt completely overwhelmed of how massive this place was. I prayed with all of my heart to God, to any angel of mine that could come and be with me and with Michael. I had no idea what was going to happen. I felt this over whelming feeling that people, angels were there with me and that God was aware and I did not need to worry. I felt peace when they wheeled Michael into the room.