A long summer

It's been a long time since I have written anything on here. I've been quite busy with three very very active boys and a really long trip to Utah. But that's not why I'm writing on here. I have been struggling with my boys for a few months now. My James and Austin have a few troubles. I'm just going to come out there and admit it, they have handicaps. You know how some little kids can sit and listen to someone read them a book or, play a game, or do a project, or just finish a task? Well, my boys can't do that at all. They can only do it with multiple prompts and with me standing there watching them, "holding their hand" while they do it. They can't play a game, they can't sit and play quietly, they can't do a task or pick up anything, they can't even follow through with behavior charts. They both have really bad impulses they can't control, they have a hard time making friends too. They also have some comprehension problems, James in Math, and Austin in reading and language. James is getting better as he has gotten older, but my Austin literally can't focus for longer than 10 seconds sometimes. Austin also responds really bad to over stimulation, he gets really really wild. I've been so desperate to find a normal functioning atmosphere, I've done and tried a lot of things, with no success. When James was about 7, he was doing bad in school, he wasn't progressing well with reading, it was affecting his math skills comprehension, it was affecting everything. The teachers at school tried to help me but I knew they were thinking that I needed to medicate him. Austin is following suit but he is hyperactive on top of everything else. So over the years I've worked closely with my pediatrician who has diagnosed Austin with ADHD and James with ADD, and has helped me find a few meds that would work temporarily but then bad side effects would come and then I felt like I was at square one again. So recently, I just decided I can't do this any more, I can't give my boys these medications anymore and took them off of all meds, (which became a real nightmare). A close friend came to me who had been having troubles with her daughter. A psychiatrist evaluated her because she was having similar symptoms and the doctor gave her prosaic, a seratonin inhibitor. I really didn't know what that was, so I looked it up. The symptoms of a seratonin deficiency are similar to ADD like symptoms. These are the symptoms: Anxiety in typically low stress situations Impatience without explanation Fatigue when you should feel rested and energized Cognitive impairment (inability to focus, poor memory, lack of mental clarity) Negative thoughts with no apparent cause Agitation Mania/obsession Mood swings Strong sugar cravings Chronic pain (fibromyalgia, migraines, back pain) Indifference to situations you typically would care deeply about Excessive worrying Inability to fall and stay asleep Masochism Moderate to overwhelming sadness Feeling worse and agitated during bad/dark weather My boys don't have every single symptom but enough to make me think that maybe I was getting a mis diagnosis from the doctors when they were telling me Austin has ADHD and James has ADD. So I decided to call my doctor and see if he would help me with a trial run of this prosaic medication to see if the boys were lacking seratonin in their brains. We started Austin on it and sure enough he did great, he was happier, we had less tantrums, he focused better but his impulse control and body control was worse which told us that he still does have a dopamine imbalance too. So we now have him on both meds to balance out both chemicals he is lacking. We just started James on the prosaic too. I'm feeling better about this and hope to continue to feel better about it. I'm hoping and praying that one day they will get better and won't need these medications to function. Just today Austin was sitting in church with me and leaned over on my lap and stayed there. He then held my hand and looked at me and kissed me and then smiled, something that hasn't happened in a really long time. I'm hopeful and still continue on the journey, and am grateful I can be their mom and advocate.