The nightmare continues, but wait there might be an end?!

Since Michael has been home from rehab which is been about a month and and a half he has looked like a whole new person. Skinny, Frail, Pale, Yellow. He has also been a little different with his personality. Sad, Depressed, Grumpy, Tired. Now, all of this is perfectly understandable seeing he went through SO much and is still on a lot of drugs that will cause these problems. I have tried to be understanding but it has been a time for grieving for me of the old Michael. I know he will get back to "normal" but it will take a really really long time. I'm not that patient. When he got home from rehab we went straight back to the hospital and on major antibiotics for six weeks. I haven't been able to see our "new norm" yet. With all of the side effects from his regular meds he got more from the antibiotics. At the beginning we had to do them 5 times a day for a week, then 3 times a day then 2. The last day for the antibiotics was July 13th. We were both so happy. He was a different person. I got a glimpse of the old Michael for about a day. Then he was back to his Skinny, Frail, Pale, Yellow, Sad, Depressed, Grumpy, Tired person. In the back of my mind I thought, "Why does he look like that?", hoping that it was nothing major and that I was just not used to or comfortable with our "new norm". Well, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, the 27th, 28th, and 29th of July he presented with a new symptoms, cold chills. I didn't get really worried about them because our "new norm" is he gets cold really easily because he has low muscle mass and is on a lot of blood pressure meds. Sunday was when I got worried. We were at my sisters house and he was sitting outside in the Cincinnati hit with cold chills!! I took him home, took his temperature and it was 101.7. I instantly went into "freak out" mode. My freak out mode is, "what needs to get done to get this temperature to go away". I called the Infectious diseases doctor, informed him what was going on who immediately sent us to the hospital. It was weird because even though I had no desire to go to hospital, AGAIN, I knew it was the right thing to do. I then called someone to come and give him a blessing. Then we were on our way. We ended up going to the hospital up in Edgewood where he was in ICU and had all his surgeries just because we had no desire to repeat ourselves. We got there and they did all the "normal" tests for someone with an unexplained fever. Blood work, Urinalysis, etc, etc. The infectious diseases doctor highly suggested that Michael be admitted for other, more specific tests. We both were so annoyed and didn't want it to happen but by then his fever was up to 103 and we didn't know why. I still felt good that was the right decision. I went home to sleep and felt guilty the whole way home I was leaving him again but I needed to get home. By the next morning the only thing the doctors could tell us that they saw was wrong with him was his gall bladder had sludge in it and he had yeast in his blood. They started him on the antibiotics to kill the yeast and we waited to hear what was going on about his gall bladder. Michael and I talked about it and we both said to each other, "Everyone has sludge in their gall bladder, that is not a good enough reason for us to go through another surgery." So that was it, we had our decision, but I didn't feel good about it. They made Michael wait till the next morning to do a hida scan. It is a more specific scan of the gall bladder and pancreas. The next morning which was Tuesday morning after the hida scan was done, Michael called me to tell me that our infectious diseases doctor insisted on getting his gall bladder removed. She was afraid he was septic and wanted to make sure that wasn't the case because if it was he would die. Michael called me really anxious, so I called my mom to come stay with the boys and I headed up to the hospital. The Hida scan had told us that Michael's gall bladder was inflamed and not working. I wanted to speak to the surgeon who had also insisted on taking it out. The surgeon, Dr. Khouzam came up to our room and insisted that he was not leaving the hospital until he took it out. He also informed us that because Michael wasn't showing any signs of gall bladder failure that was a bad sign. It was telling us that we didn't know when his gall bladder started to fail or even if it was failing, or if he was becoming septic. We both looked at each other and knew that this was the right decision. He explained to us where he would be making the incisions and made sure to tell us not to worry. Dr. Khouzam left and we waited for about 4 hours for them to finally come and take Michael down for surgery. I was so anxious and sick to my stomach. All of the anxiety during the heart trauma came back. I was worried, nervous, sick. I knew it wasn't a major surgery but they were intubating him all over again. There is always a risk with surgeries, and with Michael the risks are so much worse. The wheeled Michael down to the surgery prep room and let me stay with him until the wheeled him into the room. Dr. Khouzam sensed my nervousness and came over and asked us questions and got to know us. He and Michael joked around for a bit while the anesthesiologist, who was one of the doctors who helped out on his ICU stay, got his medicine going and ready. When it was time for them to go the tears flowed. I said goodbye and then started walking out. Dr. Khouzam came up to me while he was putting his gown on and said to me that God was guiding him and not to worry and to pray for him. I sensed a kind spirit from this man, I knew that he was being guided and I didn't need to worry. I thanked him and then went to the waiting room where I had waited before, many times. A nurse called the phone that was by me when they had been in the surgery for about an hour. She called to inform me that everything was OK. Another hour later Dr. Khouzam came out with a picture. A picture of Michael's gall bladder. He looked at me and said, "His gall bladder was dead and had been for months, he was septic." He showed me the picture, and what I saw was a black gall bladder. He explained to me that Michael's gall bladder was so infected that it was releasing toxins into his system and that if we wouldn't have taken it out it would have been fatal. He then told me that he was grateful to be the one to help Michael, that God had placed him in this position, He said, "I am good, I have been blessed with good schooling to do what I do." He then informed me that his colleagues in his practice would have signed off on Michael and sent him home, because he wasn't showing any signs of gall bladder failure. He told me that he didn't sign off on Michael because he looked at the "bigger" picture of what he had just went through. He knew that he had to do something, that is why he ordered the hida scan, which confirmed his feeling. I thanked him and told him how grateful I was for him. He looked at me and said, "Michael is meant to be here, he is meant to take good pictures." Dr. Khouzam hugged me and wished me luck. When he was leaving I finally felt a real sense of relief. A sense of, "I think we are finally on the road to recovery." The more I thought about this crazy gall bladder failure the more I realized his gall bladder must have stopped working in ICU. He had similar symptoms of fever, yeast in his blood and the doctors and nurses telling me that he was septic. I think that they didn't look into it further because they were more worried about his other organs failing, the ones he couldn't live without. Even though this all sounds exhausting and crazy and downright annoying, I'm grateful for the people that I have met. I'm grateful for the guidance of the spirit. I'm grateful for crazy journeys. They mold you and shape you and make you the person you are today. I put my hope in faith into the God who has saved Michael so many times to help us get through the next part of our crazy, annoying journey.